Birthday Cake
by Historia70
Summary: "They uh gave us the wrong cake, Helga, that is what I'm saying." Arnold told her as he continued to stare at the half open lid. One shot story


**A/N: I've done humor before but with another cartoon. This is my first attempt with doing it with Hey Arnold. I was being a tinsy bit naughty so that is why the T rating. Hope you enjoy. They are about 16 years old here.**

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"They uh gave us the wrong cake, Helga, that is what I'm saying." Arnold told her as he continued to stare at the half open lid.

Rolling her eyes, Helga approached to see what the fuss is about. "So what? If we can still eat it than that's fine. Well unless it is a strawberry cake."

Arnold couldn't take his eyes off of it. "Well I know it isn't a strawberry." His voice almost made it sound like the cake was about to attack him if he moved a single inch.

Approaching, Helga couldn't believe how much of a baby he was being so almost too casually she moved him out of the way. "Seriously, what is your deal?" Turning her head to look in there, Helga's eyes mirrored Arnold's own just a second ago. "Um. Well it is big."

"Do you like it big, Helga?" Arnold thought to slap himself later for that innuendo, but as of late he couldn't stop himself from thinking her in all sorts of different pleasurable ways.

Her mind was still shut off as she stared at the cake. "Look at the details on it."

Arnold removed his eyes from some of that cake to over to what she was wearing. He loved the corseted pink and black top coupled with black skinny jeans. "I am and I have to say how much I love it."

Snapping her attention quickly to him, Helga looked between him and the cake. "If that is what you are into then."

Getting what she meant, Arnold quickly waved his hands out in front of her. "Oh no, no, no, no. Urgh. No I'm just distracted."

Her eyebrow quirked up as she crossed her arms over her chest. "OHHHH really? By what, pray tell?"

As he tried to search for something to say, he was saved by Phoebe and Gerald coming in. "Oh hey guys! I'm so glad you finally arrived. Heh heh." Placing his finger against the collar of his shirt he pulled it out. "Whew! Did it get hot in here all of a sudden?"

Between the cake and Arnold's strange behavior, even Helga was welcoming the distraction. "Hey Pheebs. Tall Hair boy. Look at what how amazing this cake looks." Stepping away to be next to, Arnold, Helga enjoyed the quiet look of Gerald as he just stared at the cake.

"I wonder who will be calling the shots on the piece right over there?" Gerald began to snicker as he moved away.

Phoebe came over to see the cake just to cover her mouth over. "Oh my."

Elbowing Arnold, Helga couldn't help but tease him. "At least your best friend didn't stand there and stare."

"He did?" Gerald started to laugh. "He's probably jealous."

Laughing along with, Gerald, Helga stepped forward to give him a high five. "Good one."

"I'm not jealous. I'm just stunned." Arnold told them even as his eyes wandered over to, Helga's cleavage. He really had to stop the flow of thoughts rushing his brain.

Soon Sid, Stinky, Harold, and Eugene came stepping in. Eugene blushed at it before rushing over to, Sheena who came in to give her a hug. Stinky went to the fridge to find some lemon pudding, Arnold made for him earlier, and just ate it as he stared at the cake. No comments, just stared.

Sid almost poked it but thought against it. "That thing is huge."

Leaning in to whisper in Arnold's ear, Helga said, "At least there is something finally bigger than that schnauzer on his face."

Chuckling at that, Arnold gently tapped her arm with his arm. "I shouldn't laugh."

Harold was having his own existential crisis on his hands as his arms raised up to rest on his head. "OHHHHH I'm so confused!"

Curly, Rhonda, and Nadine entered the boarding house to walk into the kitchen. Nadine didn't seem to really care about the design of the cake while, Rhonda was disgusted. "Ugh! Do you expect me to put that in my mouth? I'd gag." Rhonda lamented as she soon found Curly coming right at her face. "Ugh! Don't you ever stop it?"

"No. Never my perfect beautiful flower. I will never stop until you are mine." Curly tried again only to be pushed away. "Mmmm feisty."

"I'm surprised you didn't say anything about the gag comment or the other comment." Arnold whispered to Helga.

Shrugging, Helga smirked as everyone took turns again to look at the cake once more. "Why should I when we both knew, Curly would say something?"

"Touche."

Brainy quietly entered the kitchen first staring at the cake while a snicker drew forth. Glancing over to, Helga he blushed before removing himself from the room. Soon Gertie came in cackling away till she stopped to look at the cake before, Arnold could stop her.

Raising her hand up to salute it, Gertie looked proud. "It's as big as the General's."

Arnold slapped his face. "I will never erase that from my memory now."

"What about Mr. President?" Helga inquired as she pointed to, Arnold.

"Helga!" Arnold knew she knew about his Grandmother always calling him that.

Turning to Helga to show her respect, Gertie curtsied to her. "Eleanor, you will be proud of him."

Slapping his face again, Arnold wanted to hide away. "Seriously. You should be use to this, Football Head." Helga took his hands away from his face.

"I am, but not in front of the girl that I like." Arnold realized he let it slip. Currently the only other female in the kitchen right now was her and his grandma. He needed a distraction. He needed something.

Lila and Arnie entered into the kitchen saying something about a cake. Lila blushed. "That is... Ever so interesting."

Helga was looking at Arnold as his eyes met with hers. He liked her? She knew he gave up on, Lila. Opening her mouth up to say something she was distracted by, Arnie's droning.

"One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve, thirteen, fourteen, fifteen, sixteen, seventeen, eighteen, nineteen, twenty, twenty-one, twenty-two, twenty-three..." Arnie continued to count.

"So does he count when you are in bed together, Ms Perfect?" Helga wondered just to remove Lila from her shock.

Blushing, Lila glanced away. "Arnie, let's go up to the roof."

"Thirty-five inches. I know. I counted." Snorting, Arnie left the kitchen in tow.

Looking to see that they were the only ones in the kitchen now, Helga turned her attention back to him. "You like me?"

"Uh yeah I do. Is that okay?" Something with the combination of her, that cake, and them being alone had his mind all loopy. She has been the only one he ever thought so many thoughts about. It was either very pure to the very impure. "I just want to explore so much with you and I know I can with you."

A smile formed on her face and finally she couldn't form a single word so she ended up planting a kiss on his mouth. Feeling his immediate response, she could only smile again. Her Football Head wanted her finally.

Grandpa snuck into the kitchen to take a look at the cake. Today was his birthday and after so long of being told not to sneak a peek at anything concerning the party he took his chance. He watched his Grandson kissing Helga. A large grin formed on his face knowing how both those kids have been liking one another for some time now. Applauding him silently, he went over to where the cake was held. He thought maybe to sneak a piece or to take a little of the frosting. Silently laughing he opened the lid more just for his jaw to hang loose.

"Great Caesars ghost!"

Breaking away from the kiss, Arnold quickly put the lid down. "Grandpa! This was a mistake from the bakery. We'll get another one."

"Arnold!" His finger pointed to the box. "That's a.."

"I know, Grandpa."

"But that's a... Why did you order a phallic shaped cake for my birthday? Why?" Phil sat down heavily on the chair to calm down.

"It was a mistake, Grandpa."

Coming over to, Phil, Helga placed a hand on his shoulder. "It was supposed to be a tank shaped cake. I guess the reception on the phone was full of static. Who knows?"

Phil looked at the teenager in front of him. "Oh well. Well at least you both are together. Now if you both need condoms you'll have to buy them yourselves."

"Grandpa!" Arnold will physically begin to die if this keeps up.

"Oh quit your belly aching." Waving his hand out to stop, Arnold from having a mini heart attack. Getting up slowly, Phil shrugged. "Oh well you'll figure this cake out. All I know is that I don't want that top part or the end part. I will see you upstairs soon though."

Waiting for him to leave now, Arnold and Helga examined the cake as they both tried to think of what they could do with it. It was far too late to bring it back to the bakery. Walking over to where the knife was, Arnold soon decided to reshape it.

After ten minutes, Helga and Arnold went to the roof where the party was in full swing. Both walking over to the table they set the cake down to everyone singing, "Happy Birthday.' Helga nodded to Arnold to lift the lid so she can place the candle on it. Taking a deep breath he did as everyone gathered around to find the once phallic shaped cake now turned into a Canon. The once flesh colored frosting was now a gun metal instead.

Slapping his hand down on, Arnold's shoulder, Phil cackled. "So you went back to the bakery then."

"No. Helga and I redesigned the shape of the cake to something that you would like." Arnold smiled over to, Helga who was now lighting the candle.

Glancing over Arnold's shoulder, Harold wiped his brow. "Whew! Now I feel less confused because since it was cake I thought it looked delicious."

Helga struggled so hard not to say something humorous to that statement as she buried her head on top of, Arnold's shoulder. "Must.. Prevent... Myself from not saying anything."

"Wow, Harold! You really said a mouthful there." Commented Sid instead.

Laughing harder, Helga was glad that Arnold held her against him. Listening to everyone now burst out laughing, Arnold was not too surprised at Harold being clueless about that comment of, Sid's.

"Hey! Why is everyone laughing?" Harold glanced around to all his friends just chortling away. "Why is everyone laughing? If no one tells me I'll-I'll pound you but good." As some laughter died away some still remained. "Mommy!"

Leaning closer to the newest couple, Phil whispered, "Glad you both finally got together."

"Thanks, Grandpa. Happy birthday."


End file.
